ONCE UPON A DREAM

[samfrack]

This is just random and because it won't leave my mind. I had a dream about the boy who kissed me in high school. A boy that I knew liked me and I somewhat liked (but sometimes wanted to beat up). I haven't thought of him in years since he left school early senior year due to family issues and having to join the work force early. Plus it's been seven years since I graduated high school, I'm so old.

Anyway the dream was so vivid it was as if we were really meeting after all that time. I was even dressed the way I am usually. For some odd reason we were in a museum or something, I'm sitting on the floor and there he is standing over me. The dream wasn't even really romantic, it was just the way it was when we were younger. Being friends and skirting around a mutual crush.

It made me realize I was a really stupid teenager. I never took any real chances. I just isolated myself. I'm the one who kept myself alone and in loserville for so much time. He tried to get to me and I was just in my bubble. It's sad because he was my first kiss and it didn't happen in some really romantic amazing way.

I was taking a nap in Chemistry (as I so often did) but I was on the verge of waking up. It was that state between fully aware and could probably fall back asleep if I tried. Then I opened my eyes half way and there was his face close to mine and a touch came to my lips. People were busy doing their projects and he and I were the people that barely socialized with the others in the class. He always sat near me in every class we had together. In that one he sat in front of me.

He didn't know I was awake, I opened my eyes fully when he moved away and caught a glimpse of him blushing as he pretended to be asleep. So what did I do? Nothing. Nothing at all. When class ended and it was time to go home I just waved at him like usual and walked out of the class.

Just to explain how stupid I am let me tell you that he and I were friends from freshman year. Not hang out at the other person's place friends just the talk so much shit in class we used to get in trouble kind. I met him when I was switched over to English Honors and got stuck sitting behind him and listening to his wrestling obsession because I was a big Hardy Boys fan. Most of the boys I met in high school treated me like one of the boys, even practiced wrestling moves with me.

He thought he'd be a wrestler in the future and told me I'd be his ring girl. Coming down with him and his theme music. This was early on and one thing to note, the ring girl is usually dating the wrestler she walks in. That should have been my first hint to him liking me.

Then he used to practice wrestling moves with me. He actually told me at one point he thought I was a lesbian because I was a giant, raging tomboy in high school. Still am somewhat of a tomboy but I enjoy wearing skirts from time to time now. He used to tease me all the time but then would cuddle up against me in class whenever I fell asleep. He used to keep me warm in the winter too whenever I dozed off.

The first time he saw me dressed up and realized that I did in fact have breasts he was dumbfounded. He ended up punching a guy for making a comment about my boobs. There was a time as well where I didn't even notice that not only had my shirt gone down but one of my bra hooks had come undone and a strap was sliding off on the bra. I was dozing off, as usual, and he actually pulled the strap up, pulled up my shirt and draped his jacket over me. And said he didn't like guys looking at me.

Honestly I was a dumb child. I think that dream of me and him just talking about random things was meant to show I'm never going to get anywhere in life if I never take chances. Also... I should write this as a romance story, I bet I'd make shit tons of money.

Comments

[countrymir.livejournal.com]

this was so cute i am raging. ;-;

why is your heart so cold when you have all these cute things happening to you, it is just beyond me. it reads like a pretty little diary entry in those lame as fuck shit books where you wish something as cute as that would happen to you, or WOULD have happened since we're out of that age.

have you ever thought of like looking him up on facebook or something, just to see what he's been up to or maybe just to catch up? no romantic interests or anything but i think its so sweet that he's just this memory from your teen years and only now is when you've really come to realize.

AND OYE YOU GOT COME HUGE BALLS WHEN YOU'RE HERE FLIPPING TABLES AT OUR MOTHERS AND YOU'RE THIS SOFT PRINCESS WHO IS MEEK AND SHY AND AVOIDS CONFRONTATION WHEN A GUY KISSES YOU AND PRETENDS HE DIDNT? YOU'VE LOVE ALL STREET CRED IN MY EYES :3

[samfrack.livejournal.com]

lol because I'm stupid and no. Most of my graduating class is either married or has kids by now so I rather not. I'd have nothing to talk about. Plus that would just be hella awkward.

Because those are two different things xD

[elvenknight16.livejournal.com]

Aww~
I feel sad >_<
I wish you took that chance with him~ he seems like a sweet guy =]

I only wish I could mingle with guys without my dad trying to kill either me or the guy. He believes I can only get the freedom once I'm in Uni, and I'm just glad I only have a year left~

But think about it, even though you don't have the love story, you have a sweet romantic memory to think about ^^

Isn't that worth your loss of chance, I'd take a beautiful memory of somebody I cared about over a love story that could or couldn't have worked out.

Take Care Sweetie~