When This Door Closes
Feb. 28th, 2011 04:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
samfrack When This Door Closes; broken!Dooseob; broken!Junseung; Hyunseob; Rated PG-13; 1,450 words; for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
louvela
“Don’t go, please.” The hand he places on Doojoon’s arm is shoved away. Yoseob isn’t sure where things went wrong. One moment they were sitting on the couch all cuddles and smiles the next Doojoon was refusing to look at him.
“Didn’t you hear what I said?” Of course Yoseob had heard but he could ignore it. He accepted every mistake Doojoon made, their relationship had started off from a mistake and become something beautiful to him. Something Yoseob needed but Doojoon was getting closer and closer to the door.
“I don’t care. It’s all right. It was only one time…” Once again he took hold of Doojoon’s arm but the other yanked it away. “You told me, that means you feel sorry. You still love me if you feel guilty! Doojoon don’t leave me!”
“I don’t love you. It wasn’t a mistake. With Junhyung it’s different… it’s better.” Doojoon sighed as he looked down at the floor. “I don’t feel as if I have to protect him all the time. I’m not your boyfriend, I’m your bodyguard and I’m tired of it.” Yoseob took a step back but once Doojoon let out what he had been holding in he couldn’t stop it.
“We were such good friends but when we stepped over that line everything changed. You never really tell me what you want. What you feel, you just go with everything I say. I wanted to know you. Wanted to hear what you had to say but you are always just whatever you want Doojoon. Whatever makes you happy but that doesn’t make me happy.” Yoseob backed further away till the wall pressed against his back. Doojoon’s shirt hanging off his body like a blanket as he reached up to take the older male’s hand.
“Junhyung, his nagging, his calling me on my bull shit makes me happy. You’re too perfect and I can’t handle that because I’m completely imperfect.” The tears won’t come, Yoseob can feel them building up but stuck behind his eyes. He wants to throw a fit and hold Doojoon to him, chain him down so he’ll never leave but instead he smiles.
“I see. I’m sorry.” The smile spreads wider on his face as he rubs the back of his head with his free hand. “Thank you for all the good times. You can collect your things later.” Slowly he lets go of Doojoon’s hand knowing it’ll be the last time he holds it. Doojoon gives him a weak smile as he turns the door knob.
“I lied though, I really do love you but not the way you deserve to be loved.” He steps out the door as Yoseob stands with only the wall to support him. One step forward and he’s on his knees crying his eyes out. Forehead pressed to the cool hardwood as he tries to ease the sobbing but it only comes out stronger.
--------------------
Hyunseung nurses a colorful drink between nimble fingers as Yoseob sits beside him with his head on the bar. He watches the colors blend in the translucent shot glass. Junhyung left him weeks ago, he wasn’t surprised to find out days later he already had someone else.
All they ever did was fight and screw, it was passionate and explosive in all the wrong kinds of way. Sure the sex was amazing but he never even knew Junhyung dreamed of being a composer. Of putting words out through airwaves that could make people cry or laugh. He’d never asked. He’d never really cared.
Junhyung had never known how much Hyunseung loved to dance. He knew Hyunseung was good at it but he had no idea it came from years of swollen knees and blistered feet.
Telemarketing was how they met, strangers calling strangers with only a thin divider between them. Gone drinking one night, had poorly cooked eggs and burnt toast the next morning and made out after throwing it up during their lunch break.
Hyunseung had told Yoseob all about it thinking he finally had something that could top all Yoseob’s pretty stories. All the tales of walks on the beach, surprise parties when it wasn’t anyone’s birthday and perfect pancakes with bacon smiles but it didn’t. They only had the sex and eventually Junhyung found he didn’t like that about Hyunseung either.
They were always quick and fast, no romance and maybe not even any passion. Just a slide of skin in whatever dark place they could find to make it even more anonymous.
“So it was Doojoon then?” Yoseob only gives a pained whimper in response. “Damn now I’ll have to pay Kikwang those fifty bucks. I could have sworn it was that foreigner looking temp worker.” Hyunseung downed his drink in one gulp then slammed the glass down on the counter. The bartender took it as the sign for a refill.
“Junhyung seemed so happy when he left that day. I should have known he wasn’t coming back.” Hyunseung lifted the glass to his lips but Yoseob yanked it from his finger tips.
“We were happy though. I never expected it.”
“You were too happy. That Hallmark shit you and Doojoon had doesn’t last. It was fake.” The tears gathering at the corner of Yoseob’s eyes didn’t seem to mean anything to Hyunseung. “I mean who actually wakes up every morning to make a perfect breakfast? Makes a three course meal every Saturday night? And the sex… fuck whenever you spoke about it I swore I was listening to a twelve year old girl’s diary. Holding hands secretly, walking in the park…”
“You’re so cynical. This is why no one will ever love you.” Yoseob swallowed the drink grimacing at the burn that accompanied the sweetness of it. Hyunseung opened his mouth as if to say something but no words came. He shut it once more and gestured towards the bartender for a beer.
They said nothing as Yoseob lowered his head back onto the bar and Hyunseung drowned himself in beer. It was on Hyunseung’s third beer that Yoseob finally raised his head again.
“Come home with me tonight, I’m lonely.” Hyunseung nearly chokes on his beer as he stares at Yoseob. The desperate look to the other male’s eyes is enough to make Hyunseung nod. They slide off their stools and collect their coats.
Hyunseung knows he’s not drunk enough when he can taste the bitterness in Yoseob’s kisses and feel the nails that dig into his skin. They crash onto a bed that still smells of Doojoon because Yoseob has refused to wash or change the sheets since the other left. Hyunseung makes sure to roll all over them so that cigarettes, cheap shampoo and candy over power the smell of cologne and Irish Spring.
Erasing Doojoon from the sheets, from Yoseob’s skin and from that little upturned corner of the younger male’s mouth that has always belonged to Doojoon. He breathes against Yoseob’s neck, nipping the skin to leave little red marks all over his collar.
Time seems to pass so quickly as long as they’re in each other’s arms but the sun rises behind them when Hyunseung finally collapses on Yoseob’s chest. Panting as the sweat makes their skin stick together but neither is willing to move to turn on the fan.
“I don’t like pancakes much.” Yoseob is the first to regain the ability to speak. Hyunseung’s brows knit but he doesn’t even try to take a peek at Yoseob’s face. “Day after day the same pancakes, kind of got sick of them. Irish Spring is rough on my skin. It might be girly but I prefer Dove. It smells better too.”
“I prefer Dove too.” Hyunseung licks his lips, tasting the saltiness of their effort. “But I don’t like to shower every day.”
“You’re nasty.”
“Makes my skin dry and itchy.”
“You probably put the water too hot.” Yoseob runs fingers through Hyunseung’s damp hair. “I like long hair.” Hyunseung rolls onto his back pulling Yoseob over him, it’s easier to look at his face this way. He drags his finger tips along Yoseob’s back letting them linger at the dip where his butt begins.
“This was a mistake.” They say it at the same time and look at one another, shrug their shoulders and drift to sleep.
louvela “Don’t go, please.” The hand he places on Doojoon’s arm is shoved away. Yoseob isn’t sure where things went wrong. One moment they were sitting on the couch all cuddles and smiles the next Doojoon was refusing to look at him.
“Didn’t you hear what I said?” Of course Yoseob had heard but he could ignore it. He accepted every mistake Doojoon made, their relationship had started off from a mistake and become something beautiful to him. Something Yoseob needed but Doojoon was getting closer and closer to the door.
“I don’t care. It’s all right. It was only one time…” Once again he took hold of Doojoon’s arm but the other yanked it away. “You told me, that means you feel sorry. You still love me if you feel guilty! Doojoon don’t leave me!”
“I don’t love you. It wasn’t a mistake. With Junhyung it’s different… it’s better.” Doojoon sighed as he looked down at the floor. “I don’t feel as if I have to protect him all the time. I’m not your boyfriend, I’m your bodyguard and I’m tired of it.” Yoseob took a step back but once Doojoon let out what he had been holding in he couldn’t stop it.
“We were such good friends but when we stepped over that line everything changed. You never really tell me what you want. What you feel, you just go with everything I say. I wanted to know you. Wanted to hear what you had to say but you are always just whatever you want Doojoon. Whatever makes you happy but that doesn’t make me happy.” Yoseob backed further away till the wall pressed against his back. Doojoon’s shirt hanging off his body like a blanket as he reached up to take the older male’s hand.
“Junhyung, his nagging, his calling me on my bull shit makes me happy. You’re too perfect and I can’t handle that because I’m completely imperfect.” The tears won’t come, Yoseob can feel them building up but stuck behind his eyes. He wants to throw a fit and hold Doojoon to him, chain him down so he’ll never leave but instead he smiles.
“I see. I’m sorry.” The smile spreads wider on his face as he rubs the back of his head with his free hand. “Thank you for all the good times. You can collect your things later.” Slowly he lets go of Doojoon’s hand knowing it’ll be the last time he holds it. Doojoon gives him a weak smile as he turns the door knob.
“I lied though, I really do love you but not the way you deserve to be loved.” He steps out the door as Yoseob stands with only the wall to support him. One step forward and he’s on his knees crying his eyes out. Forehead pressed to the cool hardwood as he tries to ease the sobbing but it only comes out stronger.
--------------------
Hyunseung nurses a colorful drink between nimble fingers as Yoseob sits beside him with his head on the bar. He watches the colors blend in the translucent shot glass. Junhyung left him weeks ago, he wasn’t surprised to find out days later he already had someone else.
All they ever did was fight and screw, it was passionate and explosive in all the wrong kinds of way. Sure the sex was amazing but he never even knew Junhyung dreamed of being a composer. Of putting words out through airwaves that could make people cry or laugh. He’d never asked. He’d never really cared.
Junhyung had never known how much Hyunseung loved to dance. He knew Hyunseung was good at it but he had no idea it came from years of swollen knees and blistered feet.
Telemarketing was how they met, strangers calling strangers with only a thin divider between them. Gone drinking one night, had poorly cooked eggs and burnt toast the next morning and made out after throwing it up during their lunch break.
Hyunseung had told Yoseob all about it thinking he finally had something that could top all Yoseob’s pretty stories. All the tales of walks on the beach, surprise parties when it wasn’t anyone’s birthday and perfect pancakes with bacon smiles but it didn’t. They only had the sex and eventually Junhyung found he didn’t like that about Hyunseung either.
They were always quick and fast, no romance and maybe not even any passion. Just a slide of skin in whatever dark place they could find to make it even more anonymous.
“So it was Doojoon then?” Yoseob only gives a pained whimper in response. “Damn now I’ll have to pay Kikwang those fifty bucks. I could have sworn it was that foreigner looking temp worker.” Hyunseung downed his drink in one gulp then slammed the glass down on the counter. The bartender took it as the sign for a refill.
“Junhyung seemed so happy when he left that day. I should have known he wasn’t coming back.” Hyunseung lifted the glass to his lips but Yoseob yanked it from his finger tips.
“We were happy though. I never expected it.”
“You were too happy. That Hallmark shit you and Doojoon had doesn’t last. It was fake.” The tears gathering at the corner of Yoseob’s eyes didn’t seem to mean anything to Hyunseung. “I mean who actually wakes up every morning to make a perfect breakfast? Makes a three course meal every Saturday night? And the sex… fuck whenever you spoke about it I swore I was listening to a twelve year old girl’s diary. Holding hands secretly, walking in the park…”
“You’re so cynical. This is why no one will ever love you.” Yoseob swallowed the drink grimacing at the burn that accompanied the sweetness of it. Hyunseung opened his mouth as if to say something but no words came. He shut it once more and gestured towards the bartender for a beer.
They said nothing as Yoseob lowered his head back onto the bar and Hyunseung drowned himself in beer. It was on Hyunseung’s third beer that Yoseob finally raised his head again.
“Come home with me tonight, I’m lonely.” Hyunseung nearly chokes on his beer as he stares at Yoseob. The desperate look to the other male’s eyes is enough to make Hyunseung nod. They slide off their stools and collect their coats.
Hyunseung knows he’s not drunk enough when he can taste the bitterness in Yoseob’s kisses and feel the nails that dig into his skin. They crash onto a bed that still smells of Doojoon because Yoseob has refused to wash or change the sheets since the other left. Hyunseung makes sure to roll all over them so that cigarettes, cheap shampoo and candy over power the smell of cologne and Irish Spring.
Erasing Doojoon from the sheets, from Yoseob’s skin and from that little upturned corner of the younger male’s mouth that has always belonged to Doojoon. He breathes against Yoseob’s neck, nipping the skin to leave little red marks all over his collar.
Time seems to pass so quickly as long as they’re in each other’s arms but the sun rises behind them when Hyunseung finally collapses on Yoseob’s chest. Panting as the sweat makes their skin stick together but neither is willing to move to turn on the fan.
“I don’t like pancakes much.” Yoseob is the first to regain the ability to speak. Hyunseung’s brows knit but he doesn’t even try to take a peek at Yoseob’s face. “Day after day the same pancakes, kind of got sick of them. Irish Spring is rough on my skin. It might be girly but I prefer Dove. It smells better too.”
“I prefer Dove too.” Hyunseung licks his lips, tasting the saltiness of their effort. “But I don’t like to shower every day.”
“You’re nasty.”
“Makes my skin dry and itchy.”
“You probably put the water too hot.” Yoseob runs fingers through Hyunseung’s damp hair. “I like long hair.” Hyunseung rolls onto his back pulling Yoseob over him, it’s easier to look at his face this way. He drags his finger tips along Yoseob’s back letting them linger at the dip where his butt begins.
“This was a mistake.” They say it at the same time and look at one another, shrug their shoulders and drift to sleep.
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no subject
Date: 2011-03-01 12:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-01 01:49 pm (UTC)I really like it thank you for writing this ^^ At first I was really mad at the way Doojoon broke up with Yoseob but he just says the truth and truth always hurts. As for Hyunseung, when Yoseob and him drank, I've this feeling he's really cynical and I like this idk. At least, they are together at the end and this end is just cute in a way. Their interaction is lovely. Bittersweet but lovely.
So a real and big thank you for this fic <3
no subject
Date: 2011-03-01 04:00 pm (UTC)lol tumblr is my heaven xD
no subject
Date: 2011-03-01 05:21 pm (UTC)Ahah yes, tumblr is a real heaven ^^
no subject
Date: 2011-03-01 03:00 am (UTC)The pairing is not as weird in this... setting.... eh.... *whatever word fits there* as I thought it'd be
me gusta~
no subject
Date: 2011-03-01 05:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-01 05:43 am (UTC)Thanks for sharing this though!!
no subject
Date: 2011-03-01 05:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-01 07:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-01 04:01 pm (UTC)I'm hoping someone will sub the episode they forced him to do the monkey thing xD Wouldn't be bad at all to ask, I enjoyed writing this pairing even though it was awkward. I like rare pairs and I've been told I'm the otp breaker in all my fandoms xD
no subject
Date: 2011-03-01 06:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-01 09:08 pm (UTC)ONLY BECAUSE HYUNGS KNOW HOW TO DO IT RIGHT~
no subject
Date: 2011-06-01 02:00 pm (UTC)